Tuesday, November 29, 2011

The Bar

darkened wings of sapphire breast
burn brightly against
the labored casualness
of checkered hearts
jaded by too many martinis
in bars festooned
with the crinolines
which enamor
the latest designer-
fetid souls fester
in fear of further examination
by the beauteousness
of eyes ringed in kohl
and lips reddened
by an overabundance
of passion sliding awry against teeth
redolent with precious lies
as removable as mascara
exit sign, clearly marked
ignored by all



copyright/all rights reserved  Audrey Howitt 2011

posted for dverse
http://dversepoets.com/2011/11/15/open-link-night-week-20/ 

11 comments:

  1. I guess after a few drinks a woman with too much make-up on doesn't look too pretty.
    Very deep, image filled prose.

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  2. smiles..i often think that outward dissolving of make up goes hand in hand with the inward dissolving after having had too many drinks when the masks literally fall... and what is beneath is usually a highly vulnerable creature....and then the exit sign gets all too easily ignored...

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  3. ooo love the pace of this one...and the importance of color in it...nice build up to the exit sign as well which goes unnoticed...

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  4. I love the play of the metaphors in this one, sliding all over the place--very like the kind of folks who might be out for a night at the bar--esp like seeing 'crinolines' and 'kohl' in there, and the last few lines make a cutthroat finish.

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  5. Great alliteration + unique images = a fantastic piece!

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  6. This one ran deep, those martini's can really cause trouble in a whole heap, truly making one shallow and those exit signs look less welcoming than a deathly hallow.

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  7. I love the metaphors in this...very nice!

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  8. You really captured the bar scene--I just love to read your poetry--the imagery is so alive!

    Cheers, Jenn

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  9. Wonderful line:"as removable as mascara"

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  10. Awesome write. Love your word choices, some nice rhyme in here as well. Excellent job. Thanks

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  11. Thank you all for taking the time to read and comment--I greatly appreciate it!

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I appreciate your comments and thoughts--thank you for stopping by! I don't always reply here, but always try to reciprocate--so hang in there, I will be over to your blog in a jiffy!