Sunday, March 15, 2015

Growing Things in Small Spaces



wikimedia commons
Azolla in petri dishes
IRRI Images




i want to store my fears elsewhere
or maybe erase them
as if they never were--

petri dishes, full
growing their incendiary mountains
stacked, dated, sorted.

i could go blind
looking for the disinfectant.

copyright Audrey Howitt 2015



posted for The Pantry at Poets United



Tuesday, March 10, 2015

Almost Tanka





the morguefile



Almost Tanka 

1.
you make me see lines of grace
in streets of pain
etched in sepia.
my heart cannot bleed when it is empty.

2.

your hair sweeps the garden
in glossy gold
ringlets curving to meet the sun
as I hold my breath
and try to remember.

3.

words fall out of ether
each stroke
a poem
each word 
a tree.

4.

i thought i could discern your face
in the body
of light you left behind
but it was only a shadow.


copyright/all rights reserved Audrey Howitt 2015

Posted for Real Toads



Tuesday, March 3, 2015

Stuck


The Morguefile



i am not old,
not yet.
cocks crow those announcements
dancing around edges of things unknown to me.

looking down with scarred eyes
as my abacus shifts weight,
i nod my head 
to the rhythm of clacks
moving my days along.


i am not young.
i have lost my appetite for ambition,
that season-all salt
of the palate of my 30's
and 40's too
if I am honest.

ambition is an aphrodisiac 
in that gloaming of sex on boardroom tables
and bathroom stalls 
after too many cosmopolitans.

i got tired of the hangover
and so, took the cure

abstinence is a bitch
cool as ice floes, calving.

copyright/all rights reserved Audrey Howitt 2015 


Not really sure what this is all about. I am feeling kind of stuck between things right now.

Posted for Real Toads

Saturday, February 28, 2015

To Cheat Death



The Morguefile



In my dreams
we cheat death

pulling toes backward
just in time

announcing lists
to empty air.

There are things to be said
though not the time to say them,

instead, they crowd my heart
take up small rooms.

We sort through them
and hope that is enough.



copyright/all rights reserved Audrey Howitt 2015


Two friends died unexpectedly this week.  I am a bit lost in it right now.

Posted for Dverse





Sunday, February 15, 2015

The Cost of Love




the morguefile




i scrape with serrated edges,
the endometriosis 
of love's stain,

it's bruising
quietly purpling
the edges of my eyes.

i fathom its ache
in cycles of days
lost.

when i stop counting
will it be time again
to lift the knife?



copyright/all tights reserved Audrey Howitt 2015

Not sure where this came from exactly. Perhaps, a post Valentine's Day sigh--

Posted today for Poets United Pantry




Thursday, February 12, 2015

Love at 19






wikimedia commons
 Stylized rendering of a cross-section of the Human Immunodeficiency Virus.
Los Alamos National Laboratory
In the Public Domain in the United States





i seldom think about you now,
the burn
extinguished
in a box of parliaments long ago.

your fingers stained
with the dye
of his hair
in some alley

brilliantine
on black.

so many colors
there before i closed
my eyes to you
or was it you to me?

when it took you down,
that disease we didn't have a name for--
not then,

i sat on your bed
and fed you ensure
and told you about the
daughter i was pregnant with,
the one you wanted.

you died that night.
i saw the blinking light,
a message on a piece of tape.
but i knew
when i saw the light.

did i tell you
that i loved you then
i think i did.

i still do.


copyright/all rights reserved Audrey Howitt 2015

for Kerry's Challenge at Real Toads


Saturday, February 7, 2015

The Uninvited




morguefile
dreamy glass by marlene dietrich
by Arien




windows tells stories,
sometimes ones
you wish you could hide.

they breathe,
insinuating themselves
into forms uninvited

forming agreements
between the inside and outside of me
until i wonder which is which.

copyright/all rights reserved Audrey Howitt 2015


Posted this rainy morning for Poets United Pantry