In Absentia
Morgue File
Seanrwatson
I left you
standing by a dock
In a harbor
blown by winds
I can’t know
or name
It seemed
fitting
to watch
your back against the tide
to know that
its muscles, its skin
its granular
language
was the syntax
pulling me apart
liquid language
lost
leaving tattooed
fragments behind
I watch that
back fall into me
one last
time
as the tide goes
out
pulling at
skin
copyright all rights reserved Audrey Howitt 2020
Posted for Poets and Storytellers
Deeply poignant, Audrey!
ReplyDelete"its granular language
ReplyDeletewas the syntax pulling me apart
liquid language lost
leaving tattooed fragments behind,"
This is incredibly potent, Audrey!
What a great tale of a couples separation in the mind of the narrator. Was it a love affair that didn't work that caused him to give himself to the sea?
ReplyDeleteWow love it every line of it
ReplyDeletehow deep and forlorn-sounding. it makes me teary-eyed. thanks for sharing.
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely brilliant, as the British love to say. I agree with them completely! You are a wonder of writing talent.
ReplyDeleteOh, Audrey, this one lets itself be felt deeply. The way you let see (and feel) the speaker's pain is so vivid. While reading the middle stanza, I thought the worse part of the speaker's suffering would be the "tattooed" scars left behind. Then, I get to the end and skin is ripping... Indeed, some hurts don't go away just because the culprit hits the road.
ReplyDeleteHaunting and beautiful Audrey.
ReplyDeleteFantastic write.
ReplyDeleteWhat grabs me is the very first few words, "I left you". It was the speaker's choice, even though they must have had an idea how painful leaving would be. And despite the fully realized pain, they know it is the last time. That speaks of incredible strength to me.
ReplyDeleteThe back falling into you, pulling at skin......so powerfully expressed.
ReplyDeleteThis is really awesome work, Audrey, with a KILLER closing stanza. Salute.
ReplyDeleteIt's funny I didn't see it until tonight (8/3), several hours after having posted THIS:
https://rlavalette.wordpress.com/2020/08/03/in-absentia/