The Breakup

she wipes flour from her apron
and her heart breaks a bit more
crumbling
with each new batch of cookies
prepped and baked
(No Valentine's Day cookies this year)
With each loaf wrapped

her tears add salt to dough
the flavor of lost love
she wonders what will become of her
as butter folds itself 
into flour
hiding
melting away
until nothing is left to moisten the dough

Icing glides out onto surface
slick and sweet
as she frosts
white hot anger
of betrayal

knives at the ready
she cannot touch 
she fears
like little lives
torn out of a comic book
blades infused with grief
she turns back to flour, sugar, butter
and folds them
over and over again.



copyright/All rights reserved Audrey Howitt 2012


http://dversepoets.com/2011/11/15/open-link-night-week-29/ 






Comments

  1. Very painful. Heart breaking, to lose love for any reason is so sad. Thsi hits home!

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  2. I love how you've portrayed the breakup without ever really mentioning it - we really just see the fall-out.

    By the way, I just noticed on your bio that you are a "recovering attorney." I am too! I've never seen anyone else put that on their About page or bio. ;) It's good to be in recovery, isn't it? Peace, Linda

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    1. Hi Linda--thank you--and yes--it feels great to be a recovering attorney--so much happier these days--and hopefully making the world a better place--not a more miserable one

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  3. this is a very palpable and creative image for the pain, the fears and her grief...felt...

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  4. Heartbreaking...a beautiful write!

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  5. I have feelings of sadness and hunger... what a pair! great write

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  6. Sad indeed, but a great poem. Each stanza gets more fierce and bitter, but the opening hits like a hammer: "her heart breaks a bit more
    crumbling
    with each new batch of cookies".

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    Replies
    1. I guess it did get more fierce as it went on---Thanks so much!

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  7. I adore this piece Audrey, the interplay of baking cookies and the end of a relationship. You have portrayed a difficult topic in a beautiful way, as if the butter, the sugar, the flour are balm to the wounded soul. Beautifully and skillfully written.

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  8. It's interesting how we blend our emotions and stories into the things we do. Felt every bit of it of her emotions right there.

    - Ravenblack
    http://theotherdayplace.blogspot.com

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  9. ugh def a felt piece...so much emotion all rolled into her work...over and over again she creates...i hope a bit of the pain bleeds out giving her relief...

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  10. This is a metaphor for the loss of love and such a powerful write. My father left my mother unexpectedly when I was seven. She never quite recovered. She was fierce and in those early years, I believe she baked a lot. Excellent write.

    As to the question you left on my blog - I have always thought painting and music were closely allied. With Cezanne the idea was formed of blocking out landscape particularly to show it differently and he became the initiator, whereas Picasso and Braque (both admitting they could not have painted at all without poets - Picasso thought of himself as a poet of paint --)were implementers and through the boulevards and rues of Paris their sense of revealing what you "know to be there but cannot see" was given to writers (Hemingway, Anderson, Fitzgerald) and musicians from Stravinsky to Faure, from Satie to Debussy - they would strive to dig deep revealing or hinting at the intellectual question, or the emotional state of the "thing".

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    Replies
    1. Thank you for the read and also for addressing the question-- I come to poetry through singing classical music for many years--and for me poetry it very related to the basic vibration of sound that is particular for each us---this may sound very out there--but I kind of think of it as related to the poet's voice--just like each singer has a particular voice--unlike any other in the world

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  11. Wow a huge amount of emotion packed into your verse today. Can feel it from start to end, hopefully she can pound it out as she beats that dough.

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  12. I like how you weave your emotions to the motions of baking...without actually saying anything.

    Lovely write from you ~

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  13. I was drawn into the work; it is alive with emotion and insight. Thank you!

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  14. I've heard that baking has this effect on those who do it. It is sobering to think about how many loaves and cakes have been weddedvwith tears this way. It puts a new twist on the saying, Give us this day our daily bread. I found these lines interesting, though I am not certain that I understand them:

    knives at the ready
    she cannot touch 
    she fears
    like little lives
    torn out of a comic book

    TheyRe interesting because so incongruous in a way that adds a new dimension to the poem.

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    Replies
    1. I hesitated to include that section actually--it was right when I wrote it, but I know it takes the poem out to left field a bit--and took it out and then put it back in--Thank you for the read and the comments Charles--much appreciated!

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  15. ah, yes, stay away from those knives... this is so well done, subtly woven, drawing me in...a story of survival beneath all the pain.

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  16. Nicely woven piece.

    I like these lines best:
    "her tears add salt to dough
    the flavor of lost love
    she wonders what will become of her
    as butter folds itself
    into flour
    hiding
    melting away
    until nothing is left to moisten the dough"

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  17. Im not sure I want one of those cookies or the recipe... great write Audrey

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  18. Intense and clearly deeply experienced.
    I was with all the way during this session of kneading and needing.
    Hope your future rises beyond your expectation.

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    Replies
    1. Very clever response James! Thank you so much for the read and comments!! Enjoy your day!

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