The Breakup
she wipes flour from her apron
and her heart breaks a bit more
crumbling
with each new batch of cookies
prepped and baked
(No Valentine's Day cookies this year)
With each loaf wrapped
her tears add salt to dough
the flavor of lost love
she wonders what will become of her
as butter folds itself
into flour
hiding
melting away
until nothing is left to moisten the dough
Icing glides out onto surface
slick and sweet
as she frosts
white hot anger
of betrayal
knives at the ready
she cannot touch
she fears
like little lives
torn out of a comic book
blades infused with grief
she turns back to flour, sugar, butter
and folds them
over and over again.
copyright/All rights reserved Audrey Howitt 2012
http://dversepoets.com/2011/11/15/open-link-night-week-29/
http://dversepoets.com/2011/11/15/open-link-night-week-29/
Wow simply wow!
ReplyDeleteThank you Claudia--this is a heartbreaking write for me
DeleteVery painful. Heart breaking, to lose love for any reason is so sad. Thsi hits home!
ReplyDeleteSuch a sad place to be--
ReplyDeleteI love how you've portrayed the breakup without ever really mentioning it - we really just see the fall-out.
ReplyDeleteBy the way, I just noticed on your bio that you are a "recovering attorney." I am too! I've never seen anyone else put that on their About page or bio. ;) It's good to be in recovery, isn't it? Peace, Linda
Hi Linda--thank you--and yes--it feels great to be a recovering attorney--so much happier these days--and hopefully making the world a better place--not a more miserable one
Deletethis is a very palpable and creative image for the pain, the fears and her grief...felt...
ReplyDeleteThank you Claudia--I sat down and this was what came out
DeleteHeartbreaking...a beautiful write!
ReplyDeleteThank you Ayala!
DeleteI have feelings of sadness and hunger... what a pair! great write
ReplyDeleteThank you Anthony!
DeleteHow sad... lovely metaphor!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much Laurie for the read and the comments!
DeleteSad indeed, but a great poem. Each stanza gets more fierce and bitter, but the opening hits like a hammer: "her heart breaks a bit more
ReplyDeletecrumbling
with each new batch of cookies".
I guess it did get more fierce as it went on---Thanks so much!
DeleteI adore this piece Audrey, the interplay of baking cookies and the end of a relationship. You have portrayed a difficult topic in a beautiful way, as if the butter, the sugar, the flour are balm to the wounded soul. Beautifully and skillfully written.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much Elizabeth!
DeleteIt's interesting how we blend our emotions and stories into the things we do. Felt every bit of it of her emotions right there.
ReplyDelete- Ravenblack
http://theotherdayplace.blogspot.com
ugh def a felt piece...so much emotion all rolled into her work...over and over again she creates...i hope a bit of the pain bleeds out giving her relief...
ReplyDeleteMe too!
DeleteThis is a metaphor for the loss of love and such a powerful write. My father left my mother unexpectedly when I was seven. She never quite recovered. She was fierce and in those early years, I believe she baked a lot. Excellent write.
ReplyDeleteAs to the question you left on my blog - I have always thought painting and music were closely allied. With Cezanne the idea was formed of blocking out landscape particularly to show it differently and he became the initiator, whereas Picasso and Braque (both admitting they could not have painted at all without poets - Picasso thought of himself as a poet of paint --)were implementers and through the boulevards and rues of Paris their sense of revealing what you "know to be there but cannot see" was given to writers (Hemingway, Anderson, Fitzgerald) and musicians from Stravinsky to Faure, from Satie to Debussy - they would strive to dig deep revealing or hinting at the intellectual question, or the emotional state of the "thing".
Thank you for the read and also for addressing the question-- I come to poetry through singing classical music for many years--and for me poetry it very related to the basic vibration of sound that is particular for each us---this may sound very out there--but I kind of think of it as related to the poet's voice--just like each singer has a particular voice--unlike any other in the world
DeleteWow a huge amount of emotion packed into your verse today. Can feel it from start to end, hopefully she can pound it out as she beats that dough.
ReplyDeleteThank you Pat--I think time will tell actually---
DeleteI like how you weave your emotions to the motions of baking...without actually saying anything.
ReplyDeleteLovely write from you ~
Thank you Heaven--
DeleteI was drawn into the work; it is alive with emotion and insight. Thank you!
ReplyDeleteThank you for the read and comment! Greatly appreciated--
DeleteI've heard that baking has this effect on those who do it. It is sobering to think about how many loaves and cakes have been weddedvwith tears this way. It puts a new twist on the saying, Give us this day our daily bread. I found these lines interesting, though I am not certain that I understand them:
ReplyDeleteknives at the ready
she cannot touch
she fears
like little lives
torn out of a comic book
TheyRe interesting because so incongruous in a way that adds a new dimension to the poem.
I hesitated to include that section actually--it was right when I wrote it, but I know it takes the poem out to left field a bit--and took it out and then put it back in--Thank you for the read and the comments Charles--much appreciated!
Deleteah, yes, stay away from those knives... this is so well done, subtly woven, drawing me in...a story of survival beneath all the pain.
ReplyDeleteNicely woven piece.
ReplyDeleteI like these lines best:
"her tears add salt to dough
the flavor of lost love
she wonders what will become of her
as butter folds itself
into flour
hiding
melting away
until nothing is left to moisten the dough"
Thank you Joanne!
DeleteIm not sure I want one of those cookies or the recipe... great write Audrey
ReplyDeleteThank you A! How are you these days?
DeleteIntense and clearly deeply experienced.
ReplyDeleteI was with all the way during this session of kneading and needing.
Hope your future rises beyond your expectation.
Very clever response James! Thank you so much for the read and comments!! Enjoy your day!
Delete