Monday, March 12, 2012

Cry For the Lost Child


Solitary Duality of the Soul. found on the martyr train in Atlanta Ga



I cry for you in those moments
when I feel your despair (my lost child),
in those moments
when fear overtakes,
overruns,
overrides
thinking--
when memories burst
through dams and walls
carefully constructed.
(I have had years of practice)

Panicked,
on fire--
flee
the death that waits
in the darkened corner
of your reptilian smile.
(You did this to me—to her)

And the pity,
the real pity--
You don’t know--
Can’t understand---
That I
(and she)
will pay forever
for your sin.

I cry for me.

copyright/all rights reserved AudreyHowitt 2012 

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48 comments:

  1. Heart wrenching love!
    Such emotional detail here has left me needing a tissue and air! Potent! xoxo

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    1. Thank you for the read and comments Poppy--much appreciated--

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  2. Really really sad. Makes me want to cry for everybody involved.

    And very very interesting photo of the child in the high chair in the woods, many hidden things in it.

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    1. Thanks Jannie--I love that photo--many interesting things to look at

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  3. It sounds as if the mother was raped, or forced to have sex and her daughter was the result of it. Maybe I'm wrong but, that is what this seems to be saying to me. If so, it must be so very difficult to love a child born from such a dreadful thing.
    Very emotional write Audrey. I certainly feel the mother's pain and even confusion guilt in her feelings too.

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    1. Thank you Bren--difficult write for me--I am not sure how much of this will make its way into my write--but I expect that some will--Thank you for reading and commenting--greatly appreciated!

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  4. gut-wrenching...they're stealing their childhood and split their personality...esp. the second part is worked out very well in your write..tears...

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    1. Thank you for reading and commenting Claudia---this was a difficult write--it always is when I get close to these feelings

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  5. ugh, this is def a hard one...and a deep pull on the emotions for her and what brought her to this point...wicked emotional pull in this...

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    1. Thanks for reading Brian--this is my darker side--

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  6. Strongly emotional, but nothing overstated, with under and counter currents--having/losing a child is never simple.

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    1. Thank you so much for the read--greatly appreciated!

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  7. Such a stroll to the dark side, such a thing should never come due. Sadly too many times it does. Very emotional write.

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    1. Thanks for the read and commnents--yes, a sad write

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  8. I love it when power and emotion is packed into the short form. This was great, tragic and painful- but defo my kind of write. Talks to me about abuse- having to deal with the wounds inflicted by others- a sad reality for many of us...but words are healing right? And if this is personal to you then I send you much love.

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    1. Words are healing and I am so happy to have them--thank you so much for the read, comments and support

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  9. Really strong... I love how it comes full circle in the end.

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    1. Thank you so much Laurie--thank you for the read and comments--

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  10. This is sad...and that picture makes it more poignant ~

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    1. Thank you Heaven--I find your writing to be so beautiful--

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  11. Your poem packs as much punch as the painting--and that's a lot.

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  12. Oh, really sad. Heart tearing for sure. Aside from content, which makes me feel bad to even do, seeing this poem is about content, but poetically you really conveyed the emotions very powerfully and did a great job of poeticizing what I'm sure was such a tough write for you. Thanks

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  13. I have to say that (I've had years of patience) spoke loudly to me. How stoic do we have to be until things change. Well done.

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    2. Good question! I am just not sure of the answer---

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  14. That image just breaks my heart, and you pulled the same feelings out with your words. A really powerful write.

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  15. when memories burst
    through dams and walls
    carefully constructed.


    This really built a mental picture for me and your poem a deconstruction of the dams and walls, leading one to a fragile exposed place. Beautifully written, Audrey.

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    1. Thank you so much Hannah! I so appreciate your read and comments!

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  16. By the way...will you accept this rose?

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  17. As I lament what should have and could have been .... for you... for me

    Beautifully spun

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  18. Wonderful wonderful my sweet friend.
    The images that came to me, so profound.

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    1. Thank you Becky for reading--this was a hard one

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  19. The image you've chosen paired with your words is such a powerful combo. I feel this one deeply, Audrey. Thanks for visiting my blog :)

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  20. Thank you for sharing your amazing poetry with the world Audrey. You're a trued talent. What a poet you are, girl.

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    1. Thank you so much for the read and the comments Sheila!

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  21. For the Sake of the Children the lawyers scream as they separate all the assets of the divorcing couple. Now they rub their hands together in glee as churn the account, whilst the truth of the matter is the children SUFFER they become torn and lost in the woods of despair. I write of sadness, abuse, despair of children in much of my scribes. You nailed this one Audrey, I felt a tear roll down the side of my left cheek. Nicely done, a gift you surely have.

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I appreciate your comments and thoughts--thank you for stopping by! I don't always reply here, but always try to reciprocate--so hang in there, I will be over to your blog in a jiffy!