Tuesday, December 3, 2013

Remembered Afternoons

wikimedia commons
Monet, verger en fleurs
in the public domain in the United States





I pencil in the blues and greens of remembered afternoons,
The leftovers of summers which linger best on the tongue
their sweetness understood viscerally
with an aftertaste hovering in the periphery of closeted thought.
The days hung loosely folded then
Their gauzy nature swayed in the waft of the bees’ flight,
Evincing a softness which lay easily upon you.

In our indolence,
We failed to notice the bite of time on our backs.
Now I color in between the lines
charcoaled in when I wasn’t looking.
Those blues and greens pastelled together,
A picture of a time gone,
The last of those summers for us.


copyright/all rights reserved Audrey Howitt 2013

Posted for dVerse

49 comments:

  1. I see this as a warning! The visual imagery and tactile involvement works well, thank you for sharing.

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    1. Thanks Colin--it took me by surprise--the idea that our summers may be changing as our work situation changes--

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  2. Beautiful, beautiful verse with the somberness of recollecting. Ouch...that bite of time. Loved this Audrey.

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  3. Wow, I love every single line of this poem. Beautifully crafted.

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  4. Yes, my poem is an overt warning - but I realise that I have been letting the years slip by... this is a more subtle warning...

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  5. Oh, I hear you about the 'bite of time on our backs,' Audrey. So often at the end of the summer I wonder how many more summers I will know.....we really need to enjoy each day, summer or winter, as time marches on way too fast.

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  6. I just love the opening lines Audrey as well as the wistful tone of your poem!

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  7. The days hung loosely folded then..what a beautiful description of that special carefree moments...and so sad when they're gone...the charcoal...the painting between lines... and such felt loss in the close

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  8. quite the moving piece...the missing of those moments along hte way and coloring back in those spaces, trying to fill them in...i def hear the warning in this as well...because the coloring in still leaves an emptiness underneath...

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  9. The nostalgia and melancholy of loss is so strong.. the seasons are so strong to use for such imagery...

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  10. Oh, as Bjorn has said, the sense of melancholy that fills this poem is astounding. Beautiful writing, Audrey.

    Tony

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  11. There's a depth and subtle message to this poem that captures the heart.

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  12. ooh, "the bite of time on our backs" - great line, Audrey

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  13. So many great images here, but this

    "In our indolence,
    We failed to notice the bite of time on our backs."

    stood out especially clear. Excellent!

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    1. Thanks Mosk--I loved your piece at the pub this week

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  14. Pastelled and charcoalled at the right places. This is the artist at work and happy doing it. Love the way you went on this Audrey! Great!

    Hank

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  15. Wow, Audrey. Great contrast between the stanzas which makes the loveliness of the first even more outstanding and a bit foreboding. Excellent write. Hope you feel better soon.

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  16. Very well remembered. I especially love that first line. A picture is worth so many words and a picture painted with words is lasting.

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  17. This resonates so well with me - to not forget to experience what we live through, to pay attention. Beautiful imagery with your words, & artistic references. Really love 'the days hung loosely folded then' - wow! This is a lovely poem, filled with both poignancy & a warning. But in a beautiful way.

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  18. Audrey,

    A sweet review of the seasons with a nostalgic eye. How quickly summer and life do pass these days. You have captured it stunningly..

    Eileen:)

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  19. I love this Audrey, yes, please color in my monochrome day. The leaves have spilled out and turned brown hidden beneath the snow covering on the cold frozen ground. Flowers are a faded memory.

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  20. Very pretty. I really, really like this piece. Wonderful imagery. :-)

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  21. Ah! it gives a nostalgic taste of leftover summer...

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  22. this was rich in the word selection and imagery, and seasons define our lives, don't they.

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  23. So poignant and multi-faceted... a beautiful gem of a poem.

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  24. Time is flying...and happy one who noticed the colors changing...and go with a flow...nice imagery in the poem.

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  25. The days hung loosley folded then...their gauzy nature....I like that very much

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  26. "the bite of time on our backs," yes, Audrey, just as the seasons change, so do we. Not always for the better, as the nibbles behind us remind us of what we did 'way back when! Thanks, Amy

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  27. This is just gorgeous, and I love it even more due to its artistic nature, really lovely. x

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  28. Audrey, wow--this is so lovely, I was sighing after every line. Absolutely wonderful :-)

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  29. I have come back now and read this poem three times. First I have missed you. Funny, here I am getting distracted again from the poem. here is what I "loved" about this. I walked right into this poem, in feeling, in mood, in every way. I LOVE it when a poem does that to/for me.

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    Replies
    1. Liz--thank you so much--I have been off trying to get a first draft of a novel under my belt during Nanowrimo--It has been an experience! And I loved the Treatise on Kabir--what an astounding write!

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  30. A deep poem beautifully written.

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  31. love it. such beautiful imagery and lines, like "We failed to notice the bite of time on our backs."

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  32. Wow! I am STILL so amazed at your writing! I don't know how you do it, but you are GOOD! Just wonderful work, Audrey!! :-)

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  33. Beautiful work. It reminded me of some of the feelings I had when I turned 60. As if life had spun by without me noticing. At least a little of it. One feels as if they missed something.

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I appreciate your comments and thoughts--thank you for stopping by! I don't always reply here, but always try to reciprocate--so hang in there, I will be over to your blog in a jiffy!