Friday, April 3, 2015

Under Construction




The MorgueFile




when did i first notice
desire dying,
its neck fluttering
beside me,
its language quieting?

i believed
that i would
always be whole
or just assumed it


i find myself lying in parts
beside you,
each part restless.

copyright/all rights reserved Audrey Howitt 2015

My #3 for NaPoWriMo

The Journey inward

posted for Poets United

25 comments:

  1. You're making me want to cry, Audrey.

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  2. This is so sad... melancholic... and yet... so beautifully written...! Inspired :)
    xoxo

    www.adashofsunny.com

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  3. This makes me want to cry. I have felt moments of this.

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  4. Sounds like a relationship in need of a new battery. :) Always a pleasure stopping by your site, Audrey. Happy Easter to you.

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  5. you've caught ambivalence perfectly here ~

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  6. Sometimes the restlessness may be telling a person something. Sometimes, I think, restlessness precedes growth or some kind of change...

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  7. Opening lines are stellar Audrey ~ I think we will never expect such things to die so quickly ~

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  8. A transformation occurring......I remember "laying in parts" beside someone. The feelings are uncomfortable for certain.

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  9. I often feel life hands me times to renovate as I find my pieces lying strewn about...

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  10. Very poignant and powerful imagery and meaning! There can be a discrepancy between what we believe (when we are younger) and what life turns out to be like.

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  11. Hard to accept change especially when that's not what we are looking for. Nice write!

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  12. Wow, such powerful personification of desire and the slow death of it. Been there and this is such an accurate depiction.

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  13. Definitely time for renovation. Every relationship can benefit from renewal, or it dies of repetition.

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  14. Audrey, I forgot to tell you how much I enjoyed reading this. It is such a clever write, without anything sappy, it says what it means in very few words. Excellent!

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  15. To fall apart together - such loneliness is even worse than being together breaking apart. But mending is possible...

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  16. I like how you describe the feeling.. i find it beautiful.

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  17. Each part restless.. liked that!

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  18. That last verse is so relatable...we hope for things to come together..it should be simple..all fixed when we wake up..but perhaps in the back of our minds we know otherwise

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  19. I've known this feeling many many times. I've learned that it's when we break apart into pieces that we find how much strength is in us. Because it does take quite a bit of strength to put ourselves back together! While I do find your poem on the sadder side, it is beautifully written, Audrey :)

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  20. time for the little phoenix in us to rise...a beautiful poem Audrey...

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  21. Audrey,

    A superb piece of writing; loaded with hurt and emotion..Sad that the separation is so obvious, yet not alone..I would hope for some repair in the future, of the broken soul..

    Eileen

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  22. So interesting thoughts and contrasts to live with....is this not what makes life, feeling alive, evolving spiritually....great lines! x

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  23. I did word play of aloneliness. i feel there should be a word for it and this poem could be its example / definition.

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  24. I tried commenting, not sure what happened. Anyhow nice poem.

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I appreciate your comments and thoughts--thank you for stopping by! I don't always reply here, but always try to reciprocate--so hang in there, I will be over to your blog in a jiffy!