Under Construction
The MorgueFile
when did i first notice
desire dying,
its neck fluttering
beside me,
its language quieting?
i believed
that i would
always be whole
or just assumed it
i find myself lying in parts
beside you,
each part restless.
copyright/all rights reserved Audrey Howitt 2015
My #3 for NaPoWriMo
You're making me want to cry, Audrey.
ReplyDeleteThis is so sad... melancholic... and yet... so beautifully written...! Inspired :)
ReplyDeletexoxo
www.adashofsunny.com
This makes me want to cry. I have felt moments of this.
ReplyDeleteSounds like a relationship in need of a new battery. :) Always a pleasure stopping by your site, Audrey. Happy Easter to you.
ReplyDeleteJust excellent!
ReplyDeleteyou've caught ambivalence perfectly here ~
ReplyDeleteSometimes the restlessness may be telling a person something. Sometimes, I think, restlessness precedes growth or some kind of change...
ReplyDeleteOpening lines are stellar Audrey ~ I think we will never expect such things to die so quickly ~
ReplyDeleteA transformation occurring......I remember "laying in parts" beside someone. The feelings are uncomfortable for certain.
ReplyDeleteI often feel life hands me times to renovate as I find my pieces lying strewn about...
ReplyDeleteVery poignant and powerful imagery and meaning! There can be a discrepancy between what we believe (when we are younger) and what life turns out to be like.
ReplyDeleteHard to accept change especially when that's not what we are looking for. Nice write!
ReplyDeleteWow, such powerful personification of desire and the slow death of it. Been there and this is such an accurate depiction.
ReplyDeleteDefinitely time for renovation. Every relationship can benefit from renewal, or it dies of repetition.
ReplyDeleteAudrey, I forgot to tell you how much I enjoyed reading this. It is such a clever write, without anything sappy, it says what it means in very few words. Excellent!
ReplyDeleteTo fall apart together - such loneliness is even worse than being together breaking apart. But mending is possible...
ReplyDeleteI like how you describe the feeling.. i find it beautiful.
ReplyDeleteEach part restless.. liked that!
ReplyDeleteThat last verse is so relatable...we hope for things to come together..it should be simple..all fixed when we wake up..but perhaps in the back of our minds we know otherwise
ReplyDeleteI've known this feeling many many times. I've learned that it's when we break apart into pieces that we find how much strength is in us. Because it does take quite a bit of strength to put ourselves back together! While I do find your poem on the sadder side, it is beautifully written, Audrey :)
ReplyDeletetime for the little phoenix in us to rise...a beautiful poem Audrey...
ReplyDeleteAudrey,
ReplyDeleteA superb piece of writing; loaded with hurt and emotion..Sad that the separation is so obvious, yet not alone..I would hope for some repair in the future, of the broken soul..
Eileen
So interesting thoughts and contrasts to live with....is this not what makes life, feeling alive, evolving spiritually....great lines! x
ReplyDeleteI did word play of aloneliness. i feel there should be a word for it and this poem could be its example / definition.
ReplyDeleteI tried commenting, not sure what happened. Anyhow nice poem.
ReplyDelete