Sunday, October 7, 2012

Morning's Turn



I got this up fairly late yesterday and thought i would let it carry over for today--

Thank you for reading


Sick Woman, 1665, by Jan Steen

Lady of my heart
you pale in morning's moment
as chore and turn has 
ended flux 
and morning's freshness
moves toward the bleached
head of blushes
unknown two moons past

you herald morning's kiss
as quickly as I herald its passing
how now to move
with child heavy within you
and time's ticking
an end to young love


copyright/all rights reserved Audrey Howitt 2012

64 comments:

  1. I really liked how it paused and turned on "unknown two moons past"
    Your style matched the portrait perfectly and it's easy to believe the painting was done for your words, rather than vice versa
    ~rick

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  2. A very interesting take on this week's prompt.

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  3. A real case of the baby blues?! :)

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  4. Ah, you saw her as heavy with child and I saw it a bit differently. And time ticking....

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    Replies
    1. It is so interesting what we can make with an image!

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  5. Oh! I hadn't even thought of a poor young woman passing in childbirth ... very good!

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  6. Yes, the passing of young love as reality bites. However, most of us morph into something more sustainable as a different but more satisfying role.
    Thanks for joining. I am honoured.

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    1. Thank you Stafford! So pleased that you enjoyed my ditty

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  7. Oh my, that ending is so sad.

    I love this part:
    "you pale in morning's moment
    as chore and turn has
    ended flux"

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  8. "and time's ticking, an end to young love." Beautiful interpretation of the painting.

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  9. The ending lines are particularly heart breaking ~

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    1. Hi Grace---they are I suppose---sometimes I am surprised at what comes out when I sit down to write a piece

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  10. Wow! Tells such a story in a few words! Very powerful!

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  11. Beautiful words to go with a beautiful image and painting. Lovely!

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  12. I love the classic voice in this.

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  13. goes well with the painting very good.

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  14. Very eloquent. Twisted tale. Great take on the prompt.

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  15. Replies
    1. Thank you so much for reading and commenting my heartslovesongs!! So appreciated!

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  16. Well penned. Ah yes, being with child definitely changes the form of 'young love.'

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  17. Lovely poem that transports you back in time :)

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  18. Audrey,
    The picture is beautiful and the words are electrifying.

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    1. I thought so...I had read this poem before :)
      Such electrifying are your words, Audrey
      xoxo

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  19. I've read this several times and it gets better with each reading as there are so many meanings to draw from it.

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  20. A very different take on the prompt picture, Audrey. Well done!
    K

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  21. ....an end to young love. Very interesting thought to ponder. Yes, children do change things...

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    1. Thank you Margaret! I so appreciate tour read and kind words!

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  22. Is she or isn't she?
    that is the question.
    Like your work combinations
    some with mystery behind them.

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    1. Thank you for reading this one Aprille--much appreciated!

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  23. love the moon reference..lovely...x

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  24. with child heavy within you
    and time's ticking

    A young woman about to go to labor! Interesting! At least there's a sympathetic voice at hand. Nicely Audrey!

    Hank

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  25. The poem is lovely, sweet and gentle. The painting at the top of the page is extraordinary.! Thank you for stopping by my blog Audrey.

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  26. And possibly and end to life at that time. I did one for this picture too. I like your take very much. Thanks much. K.

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  27. morning's freshness
    moves toward the bleached
    head of blushes...nice...and you herald mornings kisses as i herald its passing....some very cool lines in this audrey...

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  28. I've been reading lots of Alfred, Lord Tennyson and William Wordsworth this week. Your cadence, treatment of subject matter and construction fits in beautifully with the work of those two greats. Nicely done!

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  29. The line "you herald morning's kiss" is my fave line here!

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  30. Ahhh..... being pregnant, I never thought of that. Love the language you've used. Very much of the earlier 'times'

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  31. Gorgeous take on the painting! I love how you captured the language of the era! Nicely done.

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  32. Completely unified, completely powerful and moving and loving. I am in awe. And I will be back a lot! Thank you for visiting my blog!

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  33. Lovely write, Audrey. Thank you for your kind words. xo

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  34. Audrey, this was an inspired interpretation of the portrait. "An end to young love," indeed. Ironically, mine is on the same theme but very contemporary, you read it. We must have been dancing on different covers of the same book?

    I won't be in town for a couple of weeks, going to CA, but I'll be back around Halloween! See you then... Peace, Amy

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  35. Beautifully expressed, great poem.

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  36. I like the storytelling, although I think I interpreted the story in an unintended way. At the end I thought he was leaving her because she got pregnant. The above comments seem like maybe he is more worried about her or their relationship. Either way, it's a cool write

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