Spring's Solace
wikimedia paintings
Hans am Ende
Maedchen auf der weise
I buried him long ago
during a spring much like this one,
on a day when shadows pierced the wind's cry.
A shore bird crossing the blue,
looking for leavings at the local McDonald's,
touching the periphery of my solitude,
the only marker of memory
worn like a chain
around my neck.
The call came through
much like they do now--
but I think
I had a princess phone then. Tan with a retractable line.
Who expects bad news when the sun is shining?
Still, there is was,
hanging fully in the silence of her inhalation,
a tear through the fabric of my life--
one that resists patching even now.
So on days like today
I watch the butterflies against the blue
and wonder if pieces of his soul
continue on in the life around me-
in the bees that flit by me drunk on pollen
and in the leaves that grow so steadily
so rightly
from earth.
When my tears touch it,
I can almost smell him near me,
his aftershave a mix of the spice of heaven and earth.
copyright/all rights reserved Audrey Howitt 2014
Posted for D'verse Open Link Night
This is a very moving poem, Audrey! "Who expects bad news when the sun is shining?" - you are right, we tend to associate bad news with bad weather although, deep inside, we really know better.
ReplyDeleteThis poem really awed me, Audrey. Sometimes bad news comes when one least expects it, and then from that time on, I think, one feels a bit more vulnerable....knowing how one's world can fall apart so very suddenly and unexpectedly any time. Your last two lines were very poignant.
ReplyDeleteThis is so beautiful and moving, Audrey, and has that tone we humans have, when the unbelievable happens and yet we have to accept it. Really beautiful writing that goes right to the heart.
ReplyDeleteSuch a tender and moving write, Audrey. The emotions are palpable in your words.
ReplyDelete"...the only marker of memory/worn like a chain/around my neck.": This image highlights the loss and how it stays with you.
-HA
I watch the butterflies against the blue
ReplyDeleteand wonder if pieces of his soul
continue on in the life around me-
Tears will always be there when a loved one is brought to memory. One often wonders but the feelings that the person is around nearby is always in one's mind. Poignant take Audrey! Great!
Hank
I was very moved by this ~ Who wants bad news when the sun is up and spring is all around us ~ That scent in the ending is very poignant ~
ReplyDeletebad news respects no boundaries
ReplyDeletei would like to imagine that they do keep on...around you...
ReplyDeletewe dont get to choose the days when bad news comes
but we do imagine them on rainy days...
then again...
nice write audrey
Very moving Audrey, I liked how you constructed your journey with a sense of emotion and connection. Well done.
ReplyDeleteit's tough to lose someone we love - and if the news come via phone call so unexpectedly it's double hard
ReplyDeleteI too have lost someone I loved suddenly. Your words are very beautiful and heartfelt. I can identify with them.
ReplyDeleteoh yes, i do believe those pieces continue on...and i love the place you took this to at the very end, the scent of remembrance hinting that it's true. a lovely, heartfelt, wonderful poem!
ReplyDeleteThis so very beautiful Audrey. I lost my dad and one of my best friends, both on beautiful sunny days and I thought how could the sun still shine when my grief was so heavy? One of the most tender and moving poems I have ever read.
ReplyDeleteThis is a wonderful portrayal of (continuing) loss, done without conventional or convenient sentimentality. Your details are striking: the silence of the inhalation, the otherworldly description of aftershave lotion...Outstanding writing.
ReplyDeleteSteve K.
Very moving, Audrey. My Dad fell ill on a wonderful summer day, and died on wonderful summer day. I got a suntan sitting out in the hospital garden taking a break from watching him slip away. Butterflies remind me of him, there were many during that time and whenever I see one, I think of him. Nature has no respect for our tragedies, indeed. Lovely writing.
ReplyDeleteLovingly good Audrey - this one really touched me...
ReplyDelete"a tear through the fabric of my life--
one that resists patching even now.
So on days like today
I watch the butterflies against the blue
and wonder if pieces of his soul
continue on in the life around me..." Terrific stuff... Regards Scott
I don't know if you got that last comment of mine...I don't see it....anyway, there are a couple lines in this poem that are simply exquisite. You are an artist at the top of your game.
ReplyDeletebeautiful, Audrey ~
ReplyDeleteSo tender, Audrey, this account of loss. Yes, who does expect bad news when the sun is shining? But I love that it hasn't diminished your appreciation of the beauty to be found on days like this. Lovely. - OneVoicePoetry, per Vivienne.
ReplyDeleteOh, this is so beautiful, Audrey. Your lovely, delicate word palette evokes such a wistful, melancholy mood. You have eloquently captured the cascade of memories that still come to us long after a loved one has past. And your choice of rhyme/near rhyme scattered through the piece imparts a haunting cadence.
ReplyDeleteReally good poem Audrey hope you are having a good day today:) In life there is always going to be problems but we just have to overcome them with optimism and with faith your poem also made me remember some experiences that I will never forget.
ReplyDeleteLoved this and it made me think of the words from a song... and time can do so much....
ReplyDeleteI could relate to each and every word, Beautiful Audrey!
ReplyDeleteYou have painted a place of wistful sadness, memories once close and deep, now like a cloud hanging around your head easily pierced. This is a really evocative and beautiful string of words.
ReplyDeletetouched me heart. thank you
ReplyDelete