Almost Tanka
the morguefile
Almost Tanka
1.
you make me see lines of grace
in streets of pain
etched in sepia.
my heart cannot bleed when it is empty.
2.
your hair sweeps the garden
in glossy gold
ringlets curving to meet the sun
as I hold my breath
and try to remember.
3.
words fall out of ether
each stroke
a poem
each word
a tree.
4.
i thought i could discern your face
in the body
of light you left behind
but it was only a shadow.
copyright/all rights reserved Audrey Howitt 2015
Posted for Real Toads
4.
i thought i could discern your face
in the body
of light you left behind
but it was only a shadow.
copyright/all rights reserved Audrey Howitt 2015
Posted for Real Toads
There is such a bleeding pain in your words here.. I especially like the the last one.. with the body of light being a shadow.. wonderful Audrey.
ReplyDelete"You make me see lines of grace in streets of pain"--Just a few words but they evoke such powerful emotions and possibilities
ReplyDeleteBeautiful work. The title is perfect . . . the piece, in its totality reads like a cascade of exquisite little notes that have been tucked away until, all at once, they come tumbling forth - from where they had been filed and left waiting for the moment of release.
ReplyDeleteexquisite..."my heart cannot bleed when it is empty."...the line will stay with me....
ReplyDeleteinteresting play with the light and shadow there in the last one...
ReplyDeleteand that last line on the first one...ugh...true that...
I like your Almost Tanka. What vivid imagery you use. I think #4 is my favorite. But so many great lines, such as these:
ReplyDeletemy heart cannot bleed when it is empty.
your hair sweeps the garden
in glossy gold
Oh Audrey, this is such a beautiful description of grief.
ReplyDeleteEach and every tanka is amazing!
ReplyDeleteI don't even know where to start on this one. Every line is a painting...just beautiful.
ReplyDeleteEach tanka-esque piece presents a perfect picture of its own. I enjoyed them all.
ReplyDeleteThese are incredibly beautiful.
ReplyDeleteDifferent emotions for each of them, and yet priceless!
ReplyDeleteOhh...that final one just got me.
ReplyDeleteThey all have a completeness and also that fragile quality of the tanka--lovely. Thanks, Audrey--k. (Manicddaily)
ReplyDeleteGorgeous...there is a wistful fragility to each one
ReplyDeleteEach one a gem specially the third one ~ Such beautiful verses Audrey ~
ReplyDeleteI love these - especially against the background of the photo that goes with them. There are so many images and visuals that these bring to mind. Wonderful words and writing as always!
ReplyDelete