Tuesday, March 10, 2015

Almost Tanka





the morguefile



Almost Tanka 

1.
you make me see lines of grace
in streets of pain
etched in sepia.
my heart cannot bleed when it is empty.

2.

your hair sweeps the garden
in glossy gold
ringlets curving to meet the sun
as I hold my breath
and try to remember.

3.

words fall out of ether
each stroke
a poem
each word 
a tree.

4.

i thought i could discern your face
in the body
of light you left behind
but it was only a shadow.


copyright/all rights reserved Audrey Howitt 2015

Posted for Real Toads



17 comments:

  1. There is such a bleeding pain in your words here.. I especially like the the last one.. with the body of light being a shadow.. wonderful Audrey.

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  2. "You make me see lines of grace in streets of pain"--Just a few words but they evoke such powerful emotions and possibilities

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  3. Beautiful work. The title is perfect . . . the piece, in its totality reads like a cascade of exquisite little notes that have been tucked away until, all at once, they come tumbling forth - from where they had been filed and left waiting for the moment of release.

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  4. exquisite..."my heart cannot bleed when it is empty."...the line will stay with me....

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  5. interesting play with the light and shadow there in the last one...
    and that last line on the first one...ugh...true that...

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  6. I like your Almost Tanka. What vivid imagery you use. I think #4 is my favorite. But so many great lines, such as these:

    my heart cannot bleed when it is empty.

    your hair sweeps the garden
    in glossy gold

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  7. Oh Audrey, this is such a beautiful description of grief.

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  8. I don't even know where to start on this one. Every line is a painting...just beautiful.

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  9. Each tanka-esque piece presents a perfect picture of its own. I enjoyed them all.

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  10. These are incredibly beautiful.

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  11. Different emotions for each of them, and yet priceless!

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  12. They all have a completeness and also that fragile quality of the tanka--lovely. Thanks, Audrey--k. (Manicddaily)

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  13. Gorgeous...there is a wistful fragility to each one

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  14. Each one a gem specially the third one ~ Such beautiful verses Audrey ~

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  15. I love these - especially against the background of the photo that goes with them. There are so many images and visuals that these bring to mind. Wonderful words and writing as always!

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I appreciate your comments and thoughts--thank you for stopping by! I don't always reply here, but always try to reciprocate--so hang in there, I will be over to your blog in a jiffy!